Filed under: what's going on here | Tags: bob huggins, daisy, dick cheney, hicks, hulk hogan, jim gaffigan, monster truck rally, rock of love, squidbillies, trailer, west virginia, white trash
something wicked this way comes. i am beating sylvia brown to the punch. i imagine that this revolution has been brewing ever since OJ heard the words “not guilty” and boy, are the WTs itchin’ over that one.
WT examples: britney opened our eyes to the fact that any innocent country bumpkin can flourish into grade-A white trash. pamela anderson opened our eyes to the fact that WT can qualify for plastic surgery, too. eminem only confirmed our pre-determined notions about WT. daisy from “rock of love II”- tattooed and a stripper?–it’s like she majored in white trash at some community college with minors in daddy problems and the joys of meth.
why do i think white trash is taking over? several reasons. one being that dick cheney pissed west virginia off and the nation actually heard the story. asked about his distant relation to barack obama, he said that there are cheneys on his mother’s and father’s sides (which doesn’t at all answer the question…) and then said, “and we don’t even live in west virginia.” cheney with the zinger. what an idiot. (he followed it up with, “you can say those things when you’re not running for re-election.” i recommend the death penalty.)
(bob huggins, the men’s basketball coach at WV, and friend)
the white trash got an immediate apology from cheney as well as the rest of the nation talking about what a big dumb idiot dick is. west virginia demanded justice (or just an apology), and they mattered enough to get it. he made a crass comment about our beloved inbred, white trash-tatsical west virginians and that is just not amurrrican!
another reason is this woman. in all fairness, i don’t know what jim gaffigan said to make her so… unsettled, i guess, but come on.
i’ll bet she rallied together every trailer in her park to fight the evils of comedy for the lord savior.
if that’s not enough overwhelming white trash, hulk hogan and his ex-wife, linda bollea, have been robbing cradles. looking for mates that resemble their children, i guess? his is jennifer mcdaniels and her’s is… well i heard he’s 19.
who would have thought that a WWF wrestler, his gullible wife, their vehicular manslaughter-attempting son, and their pop “star” (red flag) daughter could fall into the depths of nattie light, mesh caps, chew, and monster trucks.
today, we’re celebrating the 1 month anniversary of nelson mandela being taken off the US terrorist watch list.
a nobel peace prize AND a coveted spot on the terrorist watch list?– well, someone just wants ALL the attention.
Filed under: so i guess this is growing up | Tags: alex, kids, nat, nickelodeon, the naked brothers band
dear mr. and mrs. wolff.
thank you for not messing up your kids.
please keep them on nickelodeon as long as possible, seeing as the disney channel has a way of messing up pre-teens (ie. lohan, brad renfro, ariel the mermaid, and–eventually–zac ephron).
thank you for picking your battles (in order to not give them inferiority complexes), giving your children adequate attention, and not forcing spray tans on them.
sincerely,
someone who will let her 7 year old cousin watch your sons’ show.
Filed under: and... judged., what's going on here | Tags: angel torres, apartment, hartford, hit and run, kitty genovese, neighbors
in 1964, kitty genovese was murdered outside her apartment while her neighbors listened and watched.
this year, linda jimenez was murdered in her home. her neighbor 2 floors up heard her screams for almost 2 hours, but did not call the police. i can imagine that the tenants who lived next to her and directly above her heard an earful.
and now this:
notice the group standing around him (one of which is the guy who said he didn’t have his cell phone on him). people saw it happen and didn’t come forward with the description of the car. 10 cars drove by, all of which slowed down but never stopped.
this is not because “time equals money.” if this adage were true, then people wouldn’t have slowed down in their cars or walked out to the middle of the street to see what real pain looks like.
if i were one of the ten cars that drove by, i would have pulled an illegal u-turn, mowed down the people who carried on as if they saw nothing, taken a wrench to the backs of the heads of everyone who grabbed a front row seat, placed mines on the blacktop for every car that drove by, and then called 911 while standing next to angel (the man who got hit). if karma exists, every person i plowed through with my car would be laying there still.
here are my thoughts on the sabres’ strategy last season: it was an interpretive dance of how much they did not want to make the playoffs. it was ugly. it was almost at pathetic as derek roy’s post-game sulking on chippewa.
with 6 signings for the 2008-2009 season, including tim ‘holy babyface’ kennedy, hopefully buffalonians can have more of a reason to love the sabie babies other than the fact they’re our home team.
(full story at http://www.buffalonews.com/sports/story/362178.html)
we are not on a sabres’ bandwagon. if there is any bandwagoning, it’s everyone who thinks we started being sabres fans 2-3 years ago. this is buffalo. we are not used to winning, if you haven’t noticed. we love our teams purely because they are ours.
so, to everyone who says we’ve jumped on the bandwagon, i will tell you what i told mayor byron brown (via florescent pink posterboard): we have had enuffalo.
this week’s spoony look-a-like is tony danza. better yet, the week’s spoony look-a-likes are all the tony danzas: the trash bag-punting garbage man or the guy who saw everyone naked on who’s the boss? or the namesake of the bosch 3 (2004-2005) funnel.
“Uncoil your whip and let the quest for fortune and glory begin! Hear Indiana Jones theme music and authentic whip-cracking sounds as you swing your soft, three-foot whip. A convenient switch lets you turn the sounds on or off, and a carry strap attaches to your belt loops to keep the whip coiled at your fingertips. Race against evil with your whip in hand, ready to face any danger as you discover ancient relics and explore exotic locations – even if you only find them in your own backyard.”
okay. what the hell. let’s make room in the photo albums for baby’s first s&m experience.
what’s even creepier is the product description:
“This (plus a hat, of course) is the one thing every overzealous adventuring archeologist needs! From the hit movie series, this cool Indiana Jones Electronic Whip is designed to fit hands of all ages. It plays the Indiana Jones theme song, as well as electronic whipping sounds. You can really get into character and live the adventure with one of these and whip your friends into shape in the bargain!”
no thank you, hasbro. my family will stick to legos and supersoakers.
