Filed under: and... judged., so i guess this is growing up, what's going on here | Tags: ann coulter, barbara walters, chabad-lubivitch, chassidishe, clint eastwood, fupa, gran torino, hasidic, hot-flash, jew, jewish, joy behar, jumpin' jack flash, lenny kravitz, loving leah, lubavitch, lubavitcher, menopause, playoffs, susie essman, the view, whoopi goldberg
well, ‘the view’ made middle-aged women look stupid again.
first, they got into a girl-fight with ann coulter (she’s not racist– she’s whatever the facts say) last week. and whoopi goldberg– you’re a statistic. don’t let your career make you think otherwise. however, i love ‘jumpin’ jack flash.’
this week, they had what should have been a witch-burning turn into a gossip-filled, shart-talking slumber party with susie essman.
essman (a juive) made a comment that mislead the hosts into offering their thoughts; apparently, the hosts think that the world wants to hear their mindless grasp on culture and religion. i mean, why hadn’t we consulted them before?– one is married to a jewish gentleman and another has the last name “goldberg” (but not in a lenny kravitz sort of way).
naturally, lines were crossed.
exhibit A: “have you seen what these women look like?”
exhibit B: “the way they dress, that’s related to islam, right?”
oh my. how’s that for gran torino-itis.
i don’t believe the discussion was anti-semitic, but it was wildly inappropriate and ignorant. also, it’s a little excessive to compare these bored women to hitler (but i hear barbara walters grows a mean ’stache during the playoffs).
to sum things up, the hosts of ‘the view’ are squawking women who have not had natural estrogen in their collective system for at least 15 years. they are at the mercy of hot-flashes and FUPAs and they say things that have no meaning or relevance. what escapes from the holes in their faces should be ridiculed by comediens and then ultimately brushed off. done.
Filed under: domestical | Tags: andy samberg, bromance, bromosexual, comedy, i love you man, jaime pressley, jason segal, john favreau, john hamburg, new movie, paul rudd, rashida jones, the office
the 90’s were the metrosexual revolution.
the 00’s (i made that decade abbreviation up. but it means 2000-2009) are the bromosexual invasion– and finally some good can come of it.
rarely do i go to the movies to see comedies (i only watch indie, european, and pokemon films in public. you should too). however, i am making an exception for ’i love you, man’. here’s the trailer.
note the scene when he doesn’t clean up after his dog. spec. tac. u. lar.
Filed under: what's going on here | Tags: discovery channel, escape, escapologist, jonathan goodwin, new show, one way out
one way out. starts tomorrow. it looks like uncle fester lost 100 pounds and found cooler ways to half-kill himself. bottom line: i’m excited.
Filed under: celebrity look-alike, what's going on here | Tags: alfred, bat-man, batman, batman begins, bruce wayne, christian bale, christopher nolan, DC comics, gotham city, harvey dent, heath ledger, ron popeil, ronco roaster, the dark knight, the joker, trilogy, wayne manor, why so serious
christopher nolan has created the most brilliant batman films in the history of the world simply by adhering to the blueprint in the DC comic.
being so, (it was inevitable that) his first two films were part of an epic trilogy. i mean, if you’re going to do it right…
the third is supposed to focus on the joker (like the comics. you dig?) and there has been a good deal of concern in regards to who can pick up where heath ledger left off.
my first thoughts?– panic. he’s irreplaceable. ledger created a character that actually has a life of its own. the vile lip-licking, endearing detachment from humanity, and clumsy mortality were more than any actor could ever learn. in other words– this is not similar to a quarterback watching hours of footage before a huge game.
since any actor thrown into that lion’s den is going to fail text book-style, my nominee is… ron popeil (inventor of the ronco roaster, duh).
Filed under: and... judged., sporty spice | Tags: 2/9/2008, arena, buff state, buffalo state, c-block, canisius, carl hudson, corner crew, golden griffins, griffs, hockey, ice griffs, jason weeks, jre, mike, RIT, rochester, suspension, taylor anderson, tiger babe, tigers, youtube
tomorrow evening, the canisius golden griffins are taking on RIT at buff state’s arena. ’sgo griffs.
that being my attempt to wrangle up a seemingly relevant thought, here is something my friend mike stumbled on last year.
http://ritcornercrew.org/tigerbabe.htm
and here’s my two cents:
1. why is her brother taking these pictures of her.
2. she can’t be a model. either tiger stripes do her no justice at all, or her photos accompany articles written in braille.
anyways, to see more proof that RIT has more computers than girls on campus, you should swing by to see a pretty good game. while these two teams don’t have a true rivalry, there is bound to be a great deal of tension and spite, along with freshman rowdies trying to prove themselves (ie. walking by the other team’s cheering section with their team’s banner).
here’s a dose of last year’s mayhem:
Filed under: and... judged., domestical | Tags: $5 billion, adult film, alaska, ann coulter, anna nicole smith, bailout, barracuda, bristol, cnn, federal, girls gone wild, girls with low self-esteem, governor, grandchild, guilty, guinness, hustler, j howard, joe francis, larry flynt, mankini, mccain/palin, medusa, milf, nailin' palin, palin, playboy, porn industry, sarah, std, venereal disease, world record
sarah palin. ugh. apparantly, she’s going out hard for the guinness world record’s most nagging politician.
my thoughts?– she found out that larry flynt and joe francis (with his venereal disease mankini) are asking that the porn industry receive a $5 billion federal bailout. with the adult film industry demanding a preemptive cushion, who wouldn’t blame her for taking it personally.
with “nailin’ palin” having come out two months ago, it must be a shock that her MILF status
1. didn’t inspire the heroine that the adult film industry needs so badly, and
2. failed to put her above ann “medusa” coulter as the uber-conservative postergirl.
my recommendation?– i think that she should move somewhere remote (alaska) where no one will ever have to hear her terrible whinny of a voice, find a new cause to preoccupy her time (grandchild) and continue doing what she’s best at (scaring the living hell out of her husband/the bottom).
Filed under: and... judged., sporty spice | Tags: andrew peters, bit, buffalo, hungry hungry hippos, jarkko, ottawa, ouch, ruutu, sabres, senators, thumb
who’s up for a game of ‘hungry, hungry ruutus’?
side note- who would have thought that a taste of peters’ thumb would cost $31,000?
addendum to side note- no homo.
Filed under: domestical, what's going on here | Tags: 2009, amber lee ettinger, anderson cooper, barack, cease-fire, hamas, israel, malia, michelle, obama, obama girl, sasha, school, sidwell friends, violations, washington
someone (some people?) started school today.
file that under “don’t care.”
to be perfectly honest, i think anderson cooper would be proud of my complete apathy regarding the obamas’ social happenings. after all, isn’t there a little bit of an issue in israel to worry about?– something with missiles and cease-fire violations?
no?
anybody?
hello?
ugh. hopeless. all of you.
Filed under: what's going on here | Tags: act, dance, dating service, eharmony, gino, michelle, sing, youtube
eharmony called. they won’t be able to find your match.
Filed under: domestical, so i guess this is growing up | Tags: 2006, 2009, ace of base, arrested development, beach hair, blistex, blouse, bluths, buffalo news, burt's bees, chain, chamise, chapstick, christina aguilera, dmx, elphaba, espn, gina g, glinda, gob, googoo dolls, heidi montag, high school musical, hootie and the blowfish, illusions, jock jams, lady gaga, lauren conrad, lc, lizzie mcguire, locks of love, magic, medallion, mesh shirts, michael scott, military, nirvana, O magazine, oprah, pearl jam, popular, real mccoy, richard marx, rob zombie, santeria, scarf, scarves, sheryl crow, softlips, spencer, spice girls, spin doctors, structure, sublime, the cranberries, the hills, the office, trendy, vampire weekend, white zombie, wicked, wigs for kids
so, every magazine and newspaper has the time to forecast what we’ll listen to, watch, kill for, wear, make counterfeit copies of, dance to, cry over, make youtube videos about, steal, bootleg, and ruin friendships for. being that i’m so trendy i can’t escape myself, i’m going to list off everything that i was into three years ago, thereby predicting what will be HAWT this year. (note: i’m not seeing the hills, mesh shirts or vampire weekend in your future. bummer).
buffalo news says: lady gaga. if you haven’t heard her, she’s pretty good. i know she’s already on the radio, but let’s think of everyone who puked out something and stuck around. she’s talented. boom. LG sounds like christina aguilera without the belting and brassy tone. her music?- think jock jams meets gay bar (and they become friends– nothing more).
i say: music from the 90’s. pearl jam, hootie and the blowfish, sheryl crow, nirvana, the googoo dolls, the spin doctors, the cranberries, sublime (not just ’santeria,’ posers), white zombie along with– guilty pleasure, much?– real mccoy, gina g, richard marx, spice girls, DMX, and ace of base.
O magazine says: “it’s 2009! take a deep breath and blow off your old fashion rules.”
i say: oh. god. no.
i re-group and say:
1. military-style jackets, in black. longer cut helps me avoid looking like a hobbit. sleeves look great rolled up (for when i feel like showing off my arm hair, duh).
1a. structured blouses: not belted. not wrap-around. maybe sheer. buy lots and get at least two black ones. they’re cute and whether paired with a skirt or jeans you’ve been running miles to fit into, you should copy me and buy these.
what annoys me is every magazine that tells you how to take a look from daytime (work) to night (trying to get attention wherever there are drink specials). all they do is put a mannish cardigan over a halter and tell you to keep your “f*** me” shoes in your desk drawer until you do the old switcheroo at 4:58. good lord. how about, you wear something you won’t be tugging at all day. better yet, how about you remember that you have a day job, so carousing about in a strappy who-knows-what is completely unnecessary.
2. beach hair: i’m not talking about using bumble and bumble’s overpriced water-in-a-bottle. i mean growing out your reversed bob (had that ‘do in highschool), chopping some weight off the bottom (“layering”), conditioning your hair like “wigs for kids” depends on it, and blow-drying with your head upside down whilst brushing with a paddle brush. then, when you get sick of it/it’s ten inches more than you want, you donate it.
3. long necklaces: in lieu of long scarves of course, and preferably, chains with medallions. take that, indie pop culture.
4. softlips: blistex/burt’s bees/chapstick got nothin’ on softlips. end of story.
maxim magazine says: watch hilary duff and vanessa hudgens.
i say: watch ‘arrested development’. everyone will watch this in 2009. if you think ‘the office’ is funny (which, let’s just say, meh), you just might have the intelligence to appreciate the bluth’s. it’s a nice dose of comical irony, without frustrating love triangles and a suffocating office-setting.
(i almost typed, “men who stopped maturing in the 7th grade” for things ‘arrested development’ does not have, but that would not be entirely true. in this case, he is not a regional manager, but a magician who does “illusions”– because “tricks are what a whore does for money”).
