pinzoner and the blog

nine months ago, on a mini-legal pad, i started a piece of work called ‘the pretty list.’ those who bought my affection made the cut and everyone else earned a crude nickname. furthermore, those who failed understand my humor, don’t clean up after themselves, or just got way too huggy– among other offenses– were expressly added to the ultra-heinous list. 

for example: last week, my best friend ben was supposed to come to my mom’s surprise 50th birthday with me. then he made dinner plans with his father. the pretty list reflected that decision.

also, certain words may be put on the pretty and ultra-heinous lists. on the pretty list, one may find the words however, brutal, and glorious. on the other hand, the words crisp, moist, and leech are permanently on the ultra-heinous list.

phrases on the pretty list are “suck it nerd,” “fumblerewski, fumblerewski,” and “he didn’t understand the assignment.”

if you are still confused, or don’t speak English and found this site because the internet was trying to tell you something, here is a quiz. tell me if brenda dickson IS or ISN’T on the pretty list. here is a clue: brenda dickson is not on the pretty list.

if you said she is on the pretty list, well, i probably wasn’t clear enough in my directions.